Dating divorced men issues
Parenting requires a lot of selflessness but also has many rewards.
I think you should consider how you feel about Adam’s kids two and a half years into this relationship, because they aren’t going anywhere. If you and Adam get married, these three kids will be your stepchildren, and my guess is that you don’t know them very well, because kids—like people of all ages—aren’t always “pleasant” and sometimes—again, like adults—“go out of control.” I imagine that they’re going through their own struggles related to the divorce—adjusting to two homes, to their mother’s less-than-stable situation, and also, don’t forget, to a woman in their dad’s life.If he doesn’t respond to his ex’s calls for help with the kids, he might worry that they aren’t okay and that he’s neglecting their needs.But if he does respond, he might worry that he’s making you feel angry or unimportant.Hopefully, Adam will be willing to get some professional help in navigating his co-parenting situation, even if his ex-wife declines to participate with him.Just remember that you two have some navigating to do, too, in figuring out what your life together will look like in this blended family.
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I try hard not to feel like a victim in all of this because I understand that it’s my choice to be with him, but I can’t help feeling robbed of something that should be mine. Dear Ginger, Although Adam’s ex-wife doesn’t seem to be handling things well—and I can imagine how disruptive her texts are—this is also an issue between you and Adam, and there are several ways to make this situation work better.